For My Bosom Friends

Well, I gave it my breast shot, but I wasn’t able to find too much at the yardsales this morning. I gotta say, it left me feeling a bit meloncholy, and for a while there I was teatering on the brink—like I was going to go all Twin Peaks on them, whipping out a pair of bazookas and just laying waste to all the boobs running today’s sales. (…Although, I guess if I had done that, it would’ve really caused some hootering and hollering.)

That said, the whole thing wasn’t a bust—I’m sure my mammary would be proud of this find:

50 cents for that mousepad? Man, what a racket.

That’s…basically it! I also found some more midget lights (this one from a brand called “Merry Midget,” which I’m going to go out on a limb and say you should never ever Google), as well as a stained-glass cow:

And, I picked this up for myself:

Because when you truly love someone, you say it with sandwhiches.

…Phew! What a morning. I think I’m gonna relax with a nice jug around the block. Ta-ta for now!

Total spent: 10 cents

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