Sans Comic

how-to-boss-your-fonts-around

Oooh! Oh, I know this one! You’ve gotta say “Do what I say, or there will be Helvetica to pay!” No? Maybe tell them “It’s Times you got your act together!” “Hey, you Wingding! Don’t you want to have an Impact on the world? Try thinking about the Futura for once!”

What, you don’t think these puns RockWell…

…I can’t believe this is the post I came back with after a month and a half.

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Enemy of Anger

A quick aside before we launch into today’s post. The yard sales weren’t really biting all that much this weekend—one of the more exciting ones I stopped at was selling a massage table and, uhh, this book to go along with it (making me question what sorts of things went on on that massage table)—but I did want to share this one craigslist ad I found:

craigslist-yardsale-ad

SO CREEPY! Anyway, back to BOARD GAME WEEK, where nothing’s ever creepy.

Yesterday’s game was BORING. Do you have anything with some action? Maybe some space ships?? Maybe some space ships…in waterspout?? [Edit: that was supposed to say “outer-space” but I’m not always great at typing.]

counter-attack-board-game-box

YESSSS!! GALACTIC WARFARE!!! THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! CLEAN-UP ON AISLE DEATH!!

Let’s just pop this baby open, and…

Continue reading

Come Celebrate With Us

dolls-ala-mode

TIL that literally everything can be made creepy with dolls.

Did I ever tell you guys about the time we were driving through South Jerseylike, deep deep South Jerseyand saw a community of people decorating their properties by nailing dolls to trees? It wasn’t Halloween or anything; it was like July. We stopped for a yard sale at one and saw they had dolls nailed to the house, too.

Anyway these things are just doll catalogs, but I’d like to imagine they’re coffee-table books for the sort of person who’d nail a doll to their house.

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An Amazing New World

surfing-on-the-internet-book

FWIW, I didn’t pay either of those prices. (It was a quarter at the thrift store that doesn’t have cool cats to play with.)

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, this is a non-fiction, first-person narrative account of what the Internet was like in 1995published in 1995! IRC chatrooms, newsgroups, MUDs, a forum devoted to the destruction of Barney the Dinosaur… As someone who still remembers the random jumble of characters that comprised his Prodigy e-mail address (PXVQ62C why would you do this to me Prodigy), that’s the kind of thing I can get into. Continue reading

The Greatest Story Ever Told

beat-this-eggbeater-chronicles

“What Herman Melville did for whales in ‘Moby Dick’ and Gustave Flaubert for bored wives in ‘Madame Bovary,’ Don Thornton has done for eggbeaters.”

— From an absolutely real 1994 review in the Times Union(It later goes on to quote the author in saying “People who like America, motherhood and apple pie will love this book.”)

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The Towers

the-towers-childrens-book

This one may take some explaining.

…which is really unfortunate, because I don’t know any more about it than you do. I found it at a thrift store; it’s a blank book, meant for your kid to fill in their own story and illustrations. This kid didn’t get too far though—all they had were the cover art and title. (Which, granted, is all most indie game developers have before they start, say, printing up t-shirts. I’m assuming the book only wound up here because their Kickstarter failed.)

And with that, we’re on break, as YtA headquarters packs our bags and moves from Connecticut to sunny Ohio! (Which is home to this store, and I’ve never been more excited about anything, not even my own wedding.) See you in a few weeks!

yessss, i made it through the whole post without mentioning how it looks like this kid was making a story about a princess saving 9/11 and whoops now everything is sad

Extremely Literal Book Titles

millionaires-inexperienced-love-slave

Very few people know that “Fifty Shades of Grey” was not the book’s original name.

See that plastic bag? At first you might think that’s an accessory for the book so you can act out key scenes in your own bedroom (note: I haven’t read Fifty Shades) (I haven’t read all of Fifty Shades), but no; the book actually comes bundled with a few other similar titles. It’s like a Steam sale except it’s the worst Steam sale.

The other books included are (I’m not kidding) (but I really wish I were) “Playing the Dutiful Wife” and “Captive in His Castle.” All from the Harlequin Presents product line of books. I’m so much more creeped out by this than I was by the grandpa videos.