[NSFW] Everything Has to be Naked

Here are some of the other things you find when you search online for “sexy candy mold,” in case you were wondering. (Warning—NSFW. Oh my god so NSFW. Be prepared to burn your computer if you actually click on those.)

…And now I have “sexy candy mold” forever etched into my Google search history.

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Stuffed AHHHHHHH!!nimal

@pastelgothsloth on Twitter writes:

This is still the best thing I’ve ever stumbled upon in a thrift store

I tried to look up information about HOW THIS COULD HAPPEN, and—amid stories of hilarious mix-ups at the Maytag factory—I found an article about a Mexican drug cartel that stitched a man’s face onto a football as a warning to a rival drug gang. So…now we all know that happened.

The moral of this story is never Internet. Ever.

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A Totally Normal Flower Pot

We have a lot of houseplants (like, a LOT; we have more houseplants than house at this point), so one of the things I’m charged to look for at yardsales is attractive flower pots. Sometimes I don’t do a very good job, and bring home ones that look like corn. Other times, it seems I’ve hit (*ahem*) pay dirt

It’s cute, right? There’s flowers and whatever on it. Total garden stuff. There’s only one sort of weird thing about it…

AREN’T YOU GLAD THE BLOG IS BACK NOW??? Happy sailing this weekend, everyone! Don’t forget to e-mail me if you find anything good!

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Come on and Mousercise!

Sometimes it’s tough to figure out what to write for this blog; like, seriously, how am I gonna write 200-300 words about a painting of a clown sitting on the toilet? And then sometimes I find a cassette tape of Mickey Mouse and other Disney characters singing about how great exercise is, and the only reason writing is difficult is because the English language—or any language—or any form of communication, period—is totally inadequate for describing the sheer joy I’m overcome with. Whatever the inverse of 50 poop emoji is, it’s that.

mousercise-cassette-tape

…Of course, I didn’t actually buy the thing (mostly because my Talkboy Tape Recorder is still packed away somewhere, after the move) but luckily, I didn’t have to. Here’s the title track, courtesy of TheTeach27 on YouTube:

You can jump, you can shake it
Anything you make it,
Whatever you feel is right.
Come on, everybody, and MOUSERCISE!

Everything seems perfectly normal so far. …BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.

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