Floss Naked!

floss-naked

“I think that it’s time to make flossing a whole lot sexier,” writes Dr. Mead on the Floss Naked credo, which is absolutely a real thing. “I suggest that if you want healthier teeth and gums, you should floss naked.”

(He’s talking about how you should add flossing to your shower routine to help you remember to actually do it. I… Is it weird that I think that actually makes a lot of sense?)

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Par for the Death!

murder-of-course“Take a swing at solving the crime!” challenges the back of the box.

Has anyone ever played one of these things? I keep finding them at yard sales, and while they break one of the Cardinal Rules“Never Buy a Used Puzzle (Because No F***ing Way Does it Have All the Pieces”)1I gotta say I’d like to take a SWING at that. (“SWING”?? Right?? Because GOLF?!)

I mean, a “mystery jigsaw thriller”? I can’t wrap my brain around what any of those words mean in that combination, but MAN it sounds like something I’d be into.

1. Other Cardinal Rules include “If You Have to Ask, it Costs Too Much” and “Make Sure Before You Stop it’s Not Just Someone Doing Laundry.”2

2. This has actually happened to me and my mom before.3

3. We also almost stopped at someone’s wedding.

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Yes, My Gatekeeper

vcr-game-meme-nightmare
YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS! LOOK WHAT I FOUND AT THE SALES THIS WKND:

nightmare-vhs-game-box

It’s Nightmare! The game hosted by a video!! I’d been trying to find a copy of this since literally like two weeks ago when Jeddy mentioned it on the GameCola podcast.

The way it works is, you pop the tape into your VCR machine and let it play in the background while you roll around the board, trying to collect keys or whatever (who cares, nobody cares). Most of the time it just plays spooky noises at you, but every once in a while THE GATEKEEPER pops in and says something like:

It’s my favorite game of all time. (I haven’t actually played it yet.)

Continue reading

This Was a Triumph

portal-hoodie

Wait, what… Is that… No! It is!

IT’S ACTUALLY SOMETHING COOL!!

celebrate-cat
Welcome to Yardsaling to Adventure’s SALUTE TO COOL STUFF, running all this week! Because I guess not everything I find is terrible garbage.

Yes, for as much as I enjoy making fun of people trying to sell piles of their hair at yard salesI mean, the reason I go every week isn’t just to make fun of stuff. It’s because sometimes I also find awesome zip-up Portal hoodies that cost $60 at ThinkGeek but only four frickin’ dollars at Goodwill. (For those of you who don’t know me personally, Portal is a videogame that’s near and dear to my heart. To whit, my wife and I made custom Companion Cube shirts and wore them to the zoo the day after  our wedding.)

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It’s a World of Tears

its-a-small-world-dolls

The only thing creepier than the animatronic dolls from the “it’s a small world” ride at Disney are the dolls you can take home with you to LIVE IN YOUR HOUSE.

…Like these guys have, for the past year or so, lived in my house. I can’t remember if I’ve shared them before, but since they’ll soon be entering the Yard Sale Catch and Release Program (credit: Yard Sale Bloodbath), I figured it was time. I’ve been terrorizing guests with them long enough; it’s someone else’s turn.

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Uncivil

gettysburg-civil-wargasm

If, like me, you were a bit put off when you saw the phrase “Civil Wargasm”… Well, putting it in context doesn’t make it much better.

I decided to research this one before talking about it on the Internet, so I wouldn’t get burned again like the time I made fun of a painting of Abraham Lincoln made out of lady butts, and it turned out to be by Salvador Dali. (I’ve since deleted the original post in shame.) Continue reading

deducktions

Whittle the Nibs to Your Taste

duties-of-the-floor-nurse
This “Duties of the Floor Nurse” list from 1897 was making waves on the Information Superhighway a few years ago, so apologies if you’ve seen it before; but if you haven’t, DID YOU KNOW

– That nurses (in addition to nursing) were responsible for mopping the floors and dusting the windowsills?

– That nurses had to bring in scuttles of coal when it was cold out?

– That nurses in good standing could be given an evening off each week, but only “if they attend church regularly”?

– That nurses who smoke, drink, visit the beauty salon or frequent dance halls will “give the Director…good reason to suspect [their] worth and integrity?”

Man. And I thought work-from-home yard sale bloggers had it rough. (I have never thought that.)

There’s a lot of weird stuff like that in the list; you can see a bigger, easier-to-read version here. (You can also see the full text at the link above.)

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