G.I. Woe

melted-baby-GI-Joe-tray

The name you should be cursing aloud right now is @MaconBlair, who writes to us on Twitter:

“How much for the melted baby / GI Joe tray combo?” “Eighty five bucks.” “DEAL.” (I’m crushing this yard sale.)

I thought he was just making fun jokes, but holy crap, the price tag says “$85.” (Or 85 dash marks, I guess.) That’s what, like a week’s worth of groceries? Or, a videogame? There has to be cheaper ways to get a melted baby than this. I know a guy.

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Making Tapeworms Fun Again

parasite-puzzle-CD-ROM

Man, I miss the days of weird CD-ROM reference discs like this. Recently I turned on the Gateway 2000 (still passing the boot sequence since ’94!) for a round of In the Company of Whales, a piece of software narrated by Patrick Stewart, whichbesides giving you a full 45 minutes of low-resolution whale footageoffers an interactive panel of whale experts you can bug about topics like “how do whale babies happen?” and “what even is krill, seriously”, and watch them spit fire at each other over it. It’s GREAT.

I’m sure this is pretty great, too:

paraside-puzzle-CD-ROM-back-cover

Thanks for making fun obsolete, Wikipedia.

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Urine Trouble

bag-of-urine-sample-cups

Another one from @themoodyatheist!

“Spotted at a Nashville yard sale: a trash bag full of urine sample cups.”

yardsale-tweets

Thanks again, Tracey! Two submissions gets you a free plug (…I’m pretty sure I just made that up), so everyone check out her blog when you’re done picking through the weird garbage here!

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I Heard You Like Haunted Dolls

melting-baby-doll

“Yessssss,” Mr. Pigsnucker said, as he dug the doll out of his backyard and brushed the remains of its former owner off of it. “Someone will definitely want to buy this.”

(The weird thing is when you press its hand, it just says “I hate Mondays.”)

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You Did It Wrong

I decided to check out the San Jose Flea Market a couple weekends ago while I was in town for Arglefumph‘s wedding, and I can’t say I was super impressed with what was described as “the largest open-air market in the U.S.” Maybe it’s different if you get there during peak hours (I was visiting at 8:15 AM on a Friday), but when I got there it looked like this:

san-jose-flea-markettumbleweed-gif

At least those three vendors that bothered to show up probably had some really cool stuff, right? Well…

Continue reading

NO EGGS. YOU’RE FIRED.

youre-fired-flashing-pins-collection

…So, I guess blinking LED pins that say “YOU’RE FIRED” in like twenty different flavors are a thing, for some reason.

 no-youre-fired-pin troublemaker-youre-fired-pin god-said-youre-fired-pin

“GOD SAID YOU’RE FIRED.”

“GOD SAID YOU’RE FIRED.”

These were found at the Dollar Bargain; you can tell because each one is covered in a layer of filth. (Yes, I STILL have photos from Dollar Bargain that I haven’t shared yet. The place has now been out of business for over six months.) Continue reading