My Favorite Boys

This baffling t-shirt is why I think everything you buy at a thrift store should come with an explanation of why and how and why it came to exist. (My money’s on “craft mom hosted a sleepover.”)

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This Shirt Blows

It’s nice, but I think I prefer the more threatening version:

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Dear The World

The “FILL A BAG OF CRAP FOR $1” church sale strikes again!! Not pictured: the back of the tag, which tells me that this t-shirt is a custom print job. Meaning that I might have the only one in the world. Sorry, everyone!! NO SAD POTATO SHIRTS FOR YOU!!!

(oh gosh, I hope that’s a potato. Or an amoeba? I just hope it’s not something racist. You have to tell me if this shirt’s racist before I wear it in public.)

Here’s a couple more tees I picked up from the same sale:

(Too Much) Fun with Chemistry

SHIRT DESIGNER #1: “Expose yourself to the elements! Like elements? Like the periodic table?? It’s a pun!”
SHIRT DESIGNER #2: “I don’t get it. ‘Elements’? Is that a chemistry thing?”
SHIRT DESIGNER #1:  “*sighs* Yes, it’s a chemistry thing.”
SHIRT DESIGNER #2: “Haha!! Okay just one more revision and I think we’re there.”

SHIRT DESIGNER #1: *headdesk*

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Syracuse is (Still) Very Rude

Last time we checked in with the Syracuse…*looks at notes* I’m sorry, the oranges? And they’re making fun of other people’s teams?? Hey guys, maybe you should get that inferiority complex looked at; it seems like someone has a thin peel.

I kid; I kid. I love Syracuse. They hosted me at a gaming convention last fall; they have a wonderful state fair in the summer; and also they’re part of a complete balanced breakfast. Here’s a bunch more t-shirts that, let’s be honest, I probably would’ve bought too if I went there.

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Fashion Faux Paw

…Yeah, I own THIS shirt, so I don’t think I’m allowed to make fun. It would be hy-purr-kitty-cal.

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Open Up Your Heart

Okay, first of all—YES. Second of all, f***ing YES!! Third of all, you CAN find them online, along with this, this, and this. I ❤ shirts.

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One Way to Sell Wine

Or, as I remember it from my childhood:

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You Got This!

That thing you’re doing, you’re doing it real good today. I’m proud of you.

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A T-Shirt With Butts on It

I knew this was a phrase, but I’m not too proud to admit I had to look up what it meant. Thankfully, UrbanDictionary (official slogan: “The Yahoo Answers of Dictionaries”) had me covered.

Whoops, wrong one! It actually means lowering your hindquarters to the dance floor. (But for real, I would definitely buy a shirt that said “drop it like it’s Scott.” F*** that guy.)

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