Not Safe For Mom

We had most of the Franzen Clan up here for T-Gives last week, and after our bellies were full of turkey, Jello, and pumpkin chocolate-chip cookies (and we had a chance to digest long enough to make room for blueberry pie in the morning), we were ready to fight the crowds at Black Friday.

…by which I mean we drove to Lowe’s for 99-cent begonias. And after that, there was only one store in all of north-central Ohio my family wanted to visit:

DOLLAR BARGAIN 2: THE BARGAINING

So that’s where we went.

Cry of the Penguins

“When a womanizing biologist has the opportunity to study a colony of penguins in the Antarctic, he accepts with the intention of impressing a girl, and not for scientific purposes.”

STOP RIGHT THERE, I’LL TAKE IT.

This is from the same church sale as the Sega Pico—where they were letting you fill up a garbage bag with whatever you could fit in it, and pay two dollars for it.

This is the kind of crap I bring home when you give me options like that. …I can’t wait for this week’s date-night.

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Embarrassing Moments in the Life of Rob Lowe

You can’t say they didn’t warn me.

I’ve talked at length before about how going to estate sales feels more or less like you’re looting a stranger’s home. Everything in the house is basically set up the way they were before the people died; except for the occasional price tag and the herd of re-sellers literally elbowing you out of the way so they can be the first ones to get to Grandma’s fine jewelry, you’d hardly even know that something horrible happened here not too long ago and everyone’s probably really sad about it.

If you look closely you can start to get an idea of the people who lived there—you see a few books on invasive medical procedures and a pair of scissors that looks like you could carve someone up with it, and—OH GOD, what’s that?!

Still More Videogame Crap!

Good lord, I’m not finished with these friggin’ boxes yet?! Let’s start taking these things two, or three, or 18 at a time; I don’t think I can handle much more of this.

Myst and Lighthouse: Figures I’d wait until everyone’s interest is waning before getting to the good stuff. If you’re reading my blog, you probably already know what Myst is. I’ve never actually played it before (guess I can now, though!), but it’s apparently a game where you click on everything until you win. Lighthouse is the same thing, except that it’s apparently for kids, so I guess it’s even easier. Maybe you don’t have to click anymore; maybe it’s just an .avi file that you open in VLC.

TWO BOXES OF “VIDEOGAMES”!

When we last left our blogger, he was mournful. (Actually, he was elated, due to a cultural phenomenon that he alone discovered, but before that—totes mournful.) He’d passed up on the find of a lifetime because he thought the $4 price tag was a touch too high. A price tag too high for happiness? Yeah, right. Dejected, he continued on through the sales, knowing deep down that anything he did from that point on would be meaningless.

That is, until the last yardsale, when he found these:

TWO BOXES OF GARBAGE! I mean, no—two whole boxes of videogames. For only $5.

That’s right. The day was saved!

…or, was it? Let’s take a look at what those five bucks bought him. First up:

This is not a good start.