(Apparently they didn’t, since it ended up at the Salvation Army.)
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coffee mugs
The Beast Coast
New York is different from California. This may come as a surprise to those of you who have only lived on one coast or the other, or (God forbid) any readers who got stuck living in-between (I’ve driven through your states twice now; I’m so sorry). They’re both big states, with lots of…trees…and they’ve both made me realize that I should look out the window more and see what they’ve got besides trees. But certain things feel like they’re a step away in a random direction; even the yard sales.
This past Saturday in New York, I overheard a guy talking about how he (his company?) recently had to pay a $200 million fine, in the same regretful tone that one might remark that they left their phone charger on the bus. “Aw gee,” I could imagine him shrugging, then giving the propeller on his beanie cap a twirl. “What a boo-boo I just did.” (And we don’t even live in the rich part of New York. We live in the cow part.) In Humboldt County—our home in California before moving back east—the only time you’d hear the word “million” was if someone was breaking the record for number of buds grown in a single field.
Another example. In California, I found some pretty adorable quilting-themed goods at an estate sale…
You Tried
Someone was trying really hard to make something cool in pottery class. …To be fair, it’s not like I could’ve done any better. I wasted entire days in art class “trying to come up with an idea” so I wouldn’t have to actually art anything. I think I only passed because my teacher knew my mom.
FWIW, there’s a teapot that goes with them:
The best part is, you can have the entire set for only forty goddamn American dollars. (They were originally priced at $10 each, until someone saw they were a set and decided to make it worse.)
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Mugging
please don’t be awful please don’t be awful please don’t be awful Continue reading
[NSFW] I’m Not That Kind of Hair Salon
There’s a certain amount of skill in crafting a double-entendre that sounds totally innocuous on the surface, until you give it a second thought and realize hey wait, they’re talking about SEX. The thing with the naughty bits! It took me 12 years to realize, for example, that Blink 182’s “Take Off Your Pants and Jacket” wasn’t just about a dude getting dressed. Continue reading
The Coffee Mug of the Loneliest Person in the World
“Please? Anybody….”
(I hope the reason they donated it to Goodwill is because they finally found a friend.)
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The Founding Brewers
Fun fact: As bad as that is, it’s not even the creepiest vintage Abraham Lincoln mug we’ve featured on this site before.
Also seen in the back there is the rare “Thomas Jefferson coffee mug,” complete with “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” quote and apparently worth $300*?! WAIT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME. THE THING COST TWO DOLLARS AND I COULD’VE FLIPPED IT FOR THREE-HUNDO?!
brb, gotta go start knocking on some doors
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(*Actually, it looks like the one I found has red hair, not gray like the original Royal Doulton version. The Benjamin Franklin, too, has a blue kite sticking out of his ear, instead of a yellow kite floating next to him. I’m pretty sure these are generic knock-offs and I didn’t just pass on $1,200 worth of coffee mugs for $2 a pop.)
(At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.)
Possible Malpractice
From the Internet:
“Solifenacin [the generic name for VESIcare] is used to treat overactive bladder (a condition in which the bladder muscles contract uncontrollably and cause frequent urination).”
Maybe a coffee mug wasn’t the right promo gift for a drug that heals you from peeing too much. This is like the worst version of Gift of the Magi ever.
FIVE BOXES OF VIDEOGAMES!!
“Don’t worry, I won’t get anything too bulky—I know we’re moving in a month.” — me, this morning, like an idiot.
