?????

As my dad would put it, “What the hell is this??”

(No, but seriously, uhh…what the hell IS this? Is it a giant pancake griddle? Is it an Unidentified Just-Sitting-There Object? Is it a metal thing with a post-it note stuck on it? If you know, post!)

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(Too Much) Fun with Chemistry

SHIRT DESIGNER #1: “Expose yourself to the elements! Like elements? Like the periodic table?? It’s a pun!”
SHIRT DESIGNER #2: “I don’t get it. ‘Elements’? Is that a chemistry thing?”
SHIRT DESIGNER #1:  “*sighs* Yes, it’s a chemistry thing.”
SHIRT DESIGNER #2: “Haha!! Okay just one more revision and I think we’re there.”

SHIRT DESIGNER #1: *headdesk*

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I’m a Bad Idea Guy

My gut told me this was some sort of weird, fill-in-the-blanks corporate freebie (the different font size on “I’m a Syracuse China” was a dead giveaway), and sure enough:

…Apparently the idea wasn’t that great though, because the company shut down in 2009. (I’m guessing we can blame millennials for that. Who will your next victim be, milenials.)

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A Jar of Tongue Blades

A F***ING JAR OF TONGUE BLADES!

I mean of course, we all know what tongue blades actually are [note to Paul: look this up later],  but BOY do I want to keep a jar of tongue blades somewhere in my house. It wouldn’t even need to have actual tongue blades in it; just normal blades would be fine.

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