Membership in the Software of the Month Club!!

PRO-TIP: Never, ever ever skip a “fill a bag for five bucks!” sale at the local church. Sure, a lot of the stuff is utter crap, picked over from other, slightly better crap; but sometimes you get lucky. Like the time I found a heart-shaped unicorn clock. Or the time I found a romantic comedy about Antarctic penguin research. Or the time I found a disturbingly realistic cat pillow.

Actually, scratch thatyou always get lucky at church sales.

Recently, I found this:

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Making Tapeworms Fun Again

parasite-puzzle-CD-ROM

Man, I miss the days of weird CD-ROM reference discs like this. Recently I turned on the Gateway 2000 (still passing the boot sequence since ’94!) for a round of In the Company of Whales, a piece of software narrated by Patrick Stewart, whichbesides giving you a full 45 minutes of low-resolution whale footageoffers an interactive panel of whale experts you can bug about topics like “how do whale babies happen?” and “what even is krill, seriously”, and watch them spit fire at each other over it. It’s GREAT.

I’m sure this is pretty great, too:

paraside-puzzle-CD-ROM-back-cover

Thanks for making fun obsolete, Wikipedia.

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A MYSTERY BOX OF OLD MAC SOFTWARE!

mystery-box-of-mac-software

…Okay, this one’s probably going to be a lot less exciting to everyone than previous boxed lots. But hey, it’s still technically a box of games! Or at least, some of it’s games; the rest is old reference materials; old system programs; and old, totally unusable adult software. (…Sorry, I probably should’ve said “grown-up” software there. Boring software? Whatever. Now I own three copies of Quicken Deluxe ’98.)

But man, what a value! It’s hard to believe they were just giving away the whole box for free, isn’t it?!

(They actually had two boxes, but some punk kid heard me asking about them and then grabbed the other one. I HOPE IT WAS FULL OF GARBAGE.)

Let’s dive in! First up:

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Still More Videogame Crap!

Good lord, I’m not finished with these friggin’ boxes yet?! Let’s start taking these things two, or three, or 18 at a time; I don’t think I can handle much more of this.

Myst and Lighthouse: Figures I’d wait until everyone’s interest is waning before getting to the good stuff. If you’re reading my blog, you probably already know what Myst is. I’ve never actually played it before (guess I can now, though!), but it’s apparently a game where you click on everything until you win. Lighthouse is the same thing, except that it’s apparently for kids, so I guess it’s even easier. Maybe you don’t have to click anymore; maybe it’s just an .avi file that you open in VLC. Continue reading