What songs could you possibly put on a cassette tape based on the hit 90’s television show Dinosaurs?
I’M GLAD YOU ASKED. These aren’t songs “inspired” by the show by no-name artists, or tracks of incidental background music, or even pop versions of the theme song sung by Chumbawamba and the Red Hot Chili Peppers (but man do I want THAT CD now), oh no. These are all-new, original songs, based on the series…
…sung by the f***ing dinosaurs.
I’m not even joking.
The first track is performed by the baby, because he’s the obvious choice when you’re trying to figure out which dinosaur has the most aurally pleasing voice:
We’ve also got “I Wanna Be King”, a ripped-from-the-headlines jam about how the “old dinosaurs” in charge of our world are ruining everything for everyone and maybe it’s time to kick them out of office:
(Of course, in this version, the “old dinosaurs” are literally dinosaurs.)
Or how about “Be a Herbivor,” in which the big daddy dino Earl sings a goofy ragtime duet with THE ANIMALS IN HIS FRIDGE, AKA HIS DINNER. WHAT.
Here’s a fun one—Earl’s dumb friends lamenting how they wasted their lives settling for meaningless, tedious work and never fulfilled any of their dreams:
The album ends with a lovely lullaby, sung from mama-dino to baby-dino, featuring the following lyrics:
It’s snoozin’ time
Time to give it a rest
You had such a long day
You kicked your dad
Real hard in the chest
And you almost blew grandma awayyyyyyyyyyyyyy
You can get the full playlist of “Dinosaurs: Big Songs” here (because of course this is on the Internet).
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