Come on and Mousercise!

Sometimes it’s tough to figure out what to write for this blog; like, seriously, how am I gonna write 200-300 words about a painting of a clown sitting on the toilet? And then sometimes I find a cassette tape of Mickey Mouse and other Disney characters singing about how great exercise is, and the only reason writing is difficult is because the English language—or any language—or any form of communication, period—is totally inadequate for describing the sheer joy I’m overcome with. Whatever the inverse of 50 poop emoji is, it’s that.

mousercise-cassette-tape

…Of course, I didn’t actually buy the thing (mostly because my Talkboy Tape Recorder is still packed away somewhere, after the move) but luckily, I didn’t have to. Here’s the title track, courtesy of TheTeach27 on YouTube:

You can jump, you can shake it
Anything you make it,
Whatever you feel is right.
Come on, everybody, and MOUSERCISE!

Everything seems perfectly normal so far. …BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.

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Big Songs by Dinosaurs! Like, the TV Show.

dinosaurs-big-songs

What songs could you possibly put on a cassette tape based on the hit 90’s television show Dinosaurs?

I’M GLAD YOU ASKED. These aren’t songs “inspired” by the show by no-name artists, or tracks of incidental background music, or even pop versions of the theme song sung by Chumbawamba and the Red Hot Chili Peppers (but man do I want THAT CD now), oh no. These are all-new, original songs, based on the series…

sung by the f***ing dinosaurs.

I’m not even joking.

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Letter Tape: Talking Mail!

HEY, LISTEN!

Are you tired of writing letters with a pencil and some paper? Like a friggin’ caveman?! If only there was some way you could just TALK at your mail and MAKE WORDS HAPPEN!

WAIT, THERE IS?! INTRODUCING:

letter-tape-talking-mail-front

LETTER TAPE! ***TALKING MAIL*** Just hit “record” on your tape recorder, talk a bunch of words, and no one will ever have to know how bad your grammars are! (Kids, get your parents’ assistance if you can’t figure out what a “tape recorder” is.)

letter-tape-talking-mail-back

…okay but seriously, if you got a cassette tape in the mail with a message on it from literally anyone, you know you’d lose your mind. (And then quickly get very sad when you realize you threw out all your cassette players in 1996 and you’ll never hear the awesome secret message.)

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