Realest Guy in the Room

Who’s got the best deals at Columbus Farmers Market?

basically-a-giant-hand

THIS GUY. (Qualifying statement: I have no idea who this person is or why in the world he has Hagrid’s right hand. Whole lotta severed body parts in the blog this week.)

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How Not to Tell Mom You’re Pregnant

tiny-baby-giant-hand

Daughter: “I have some big new, Mom—Steven and I are expecting!!”
Mom: *HAS RUN TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE EARTH*
<awkward pause>
Steven: “I knew we should’ve told my parents first.”

Hi, so let’s talk about all the creepy things that apparently got past the dollar store’s quality control here:

1) The baby is being held by a GIANT SEVERED HAND OF UNKNOWN ORIGINS.
2) The hand is wearing a bow-tie (this somehow makes it worse).
3) The baby’s eyes look like it’s terrified out of it’s goddamn mind and I wonder why.
4) The fact that the baby’s name is apparently “Baby” (look at the hat).
5) Steven was dead the whole time.

BONUS REFERENCE FOR WWE FANS: “It’s a hand! C’mon, let’s give her a hand!!