If this were a LiveJournal post, my current mood would be “despondent,” and my current music would be anything by Dashboard Confessional.

I’ve recently discovered that I’m too gun-shy about yardsaling. I spend so much time hemming and hawing over 50-cent items—”but do I really want this? Where would I put it? What could I possibly do with so many binder clips?”—that I think it takes some of the fun out of it, and I don’t end up turning my apartment into a prime candidate for Hoarders, which is of course a shame.

Yesterday, I passed on two items that would have unquestionably changed my life for the better. The first was a computer game called Dairy Queen Tycoon, in which you—and this is from the back of the box—”become the manager of your very own Dairy Queen,” something all little boys dream about. I’m a big fan of goofy sim games like that, but after spending several minutes poring over the box, the manual, and the disc, I couldn’t tell if it was an actual sim game, or a time-management game, which is a completely different type of videogame whose name is derived from the fact that, if you’re playing it, you aren’t doing it. Ultimately I passed on it, but the stupid thing only cost 50 cents, so I really should’ve just taken the chance. I could be mixing my own Blizzards right now!

The other item I passed on is going to keep me up at night for the rest of my life. I feel like my world is a little less magical because I don’t own it. I didn’t take a picture of the item at the sale, because I still don’t have the guts to do that, but amazingly, I came across someone else’s via Google.

Pictured below: the cause of my sorrow. Continue reading

Antique Paper! Benjamin Franklin!

Here’s what I picked up yesterday at the sales! In the order of least interesting to OMG, that’s a thing that exists?!

First off, we’ve got this little guy:

I don’t know why, but he just speaks to me. Maybe it’s because he’s doing the same exact pose as a Smurf figurine I used to own, or maybe it’s the fact that he has a Pac-Man symbol tattooed on his belly. Maybe it’s the carefree way he’s holding that candle; I’m don’t know. Either way, he’ll be bringing some dignity to our Christmas tree this year.

I found this little guy (along with the next item) at a community-wide church sale, amidst other antiques (“Daddy, can I get this book?” “Sorry, son—that’s not a book, that’s a VHS tape.), ugly sweaters, and a whole lot of other junk that I had to forcibly not purchase because it would’ve made my house look like grandma’s.  At one point while I was poking around (examining, if I recall, an enormous rubber octopus doll), this elderly woman said “excuse me,” indicating that I should get out of her way. I obliged, assuming she wanted to get past me, but as soon as I moved she took over my spot and started examining the octopus herself.

Now, I’m wondering…Is this an OK thing to do? Doesn’t “excuse me” usually mean “I need to get by you,” not “stop what you’re doing, because I want to do it instead”?

Continue reading