#LifeGoals

This is good, but also:

– Intimidate your enemies with your tough waxy skin
– Suffer from butt rot
– Seriously, they can get BUTT ROT!!!!!
– Go great on pizza

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FIVE BOXES OF VIDEOGAMES!!

“Don’t worry, I won’t get anything too bulky—I know we’re moving in a month.” — me, this morning, like an idiot.