please be what I think it is please be what I think it is please be–
NOPE! They’re just foot massagers. That old yardsale chestnut. Because nothing says “BUY ME! BUY MEEEEEEE!” like someone else’s foot-funk and skin flakes—especially when they make you look like this guy:
Oh come on, this guy. You can do better facial expressions than that.
(For the record, I thought it was a foot-powered iPhone charger. Put them jimmy-legs to work.)