Sorry, I know I promised over at that other website that the next three posts here would all be about videogames…but I came across a phenomenon today that just has to be documented—something so disturbing yet, in a way, enlightening that it’s kind of a tragedy that there aren’t books on the subject already.
Are you ready for this?
The “pear of sheep” statue is not an isolated incident.
I was searching for “pear of sheep” on Google to try to get an idea of my new blog’s search ranking, and I came across dozens of items with the same theme. Dozens. I’m serious! The “pear of sheep” statue isn’t just one item some crazy person convinced a gullible manufacturer to mass-produce; it’s a veritable motif! My life is now dedicated to finding out why.
First of all, I found another shot of the original statue (this time in front of a red velvet background, I guess to emphasize the item’s inherent sex appeal):
I also found this rug on Etsy:
(Before you go buying that for my birthday, please note that the seller is charging $500 for it. You can really see in the craftsmanship why it would cost so much. I think it’s the way the sheep’s ears make them look like old balding men.)
Then there’s this pillow, which looks like nothing more to me than a pear with two sheep growing out of it like regenerating limbs:
I also found this tapestry, which is almost like a Magic Eye to me, in that I had to cross my eyes and ask someone else to show me where the sheep were:
And finally, the cream of the crop (of sheep):
It’s kind of hard to tell because the picture’s so small, but that is a candle. An extraordinarily elegant candle painted with an early Renaissance style depiction of a “pear of sheep.” If I was flabbergasted by the original statue, this one has me paralyzed with shock. The only way I’ll be able to get to sleep tonight is by counting…well, you know.
(I also came across an online listening from a 1832 estate sale for something called a “pear of sheep shears,” but somehow I don’t think that’s the same thing. I didn’t even know they had Internet in 1832.)
That’s it for now! So what have we learned today?
1) That “pear of sheep” is the most hilarious pun ever,
2) It’s also the most expensive, and most importantly,
3) Nothing is so absurd that you can’t find it for sale at yardsales.
Which is kinda why I love them.